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Heavy duty stuff

Lessons from Sunday school the few past couple of weeks keeps jumping through my mind. Over and over and over….the words and lessons speaking to my heart mind and soul. Words that are hard to hear but must be absorbed. Things that need to be heard again. And again. And again…..  Reminders to push and direct me. To keep me going forward on the narrow path and not sliding backwards downhill in spiritual cruise control as so well said by our pastor during the sermon this past weekend!

—> ARE YOU TRUSTING THE LORD THE WAY HE CALLS US TO???        I’m not, I am guilty of anxiety and worry….

—> WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING WHAT IS YOUR FIRST THOUGHT? Is it focused on the Lord?…     mine isn’t its normal grumbling about being tired and not wanting to get up and start another busy day

Beware!

‘Stay dressed for action and keep your lamps burning’ Luke 12:35. ‘And he said to them “take care and be in your guard against all covetousness for ones life does not consist of the abundance of his possessions’. Luke 12:15

I need to remain in prayer and study of God’s word to be able to beware and prepared for the trials of this world.  The days/weeks I am more obedient with this there is a noticeable difference.  There are so many idols in our lives that it is easy to slip into not making this a habit and a priority in my routine.

Have no fear!

“”I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him!” Luke‬ 12:4-5

To truly trust the Lord and live fearlessly in Him, I need to be with Him, I cannot do this if I am not studying His word, meditating and learning His word and alive in my prayer life with Him.

Do not worry, do not be anxious!

And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭12:22-26‬

Who am I to question God and His plan with my worry and anxious heart???  But yet I do.  This is truly my greatest struggle and something I am actively working towards.  In the heat of the moment when fear hits the ceiling and physically overpowered by anxiety is when it is most challenging, again I need to continue to improve in my bible study and prayers to move closer to the Lord and farther from living with constant anxiety.

Be ready!

“”Stay dressed for action and keep your lamps burning, and be like men who are waiting for their master to come home from the wedding feast, so that they may open the door to him at once when he comes and knocks. You also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.”” Luke‬ ‭12:35-36, 40‬

I need to be ready with God’s words constantly in my mind and heart.  I need to be on constant and frequent fellowship with Christ to stay ready, if His word is in my heart and mind then that is what will come out.  If sinful and evil is allowed to be entertained in my mind and heart then that is what will come out.  We must stay in God’s word and know it so intimately that we can distinguish false teaching.    Application of scripture in life may change but the truth of it will remain the same.

Christ must come first!

“”And I tell you, everyone who acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man also will acknowledge before the angels of God, but the one who denies me before men will be denied before the angels of God. And everyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but the one who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven.” Luke‬ ‭12:8-10‬

I need to rest in the Holy Spirit, putting Christ above all else, first in and above all things in this world and the Holy spirit will be there leading me, convicting me when needed, and preparing me for His return one day.

I am so very thankful for God’s truth, for God’s mercy and grace upon me and my life.  I am so thankful to be in this Sunday school class where I am being challenged, spiritually fed and convicted.  I am so thankful for my salvation in Christ. My heart is so happy to be moving forward in my walk, learning and growing along side sisters and brothers in Christ.  I am so VERY THANKFUL for HEAVY DUTY STUFF to be laid on my mind and heart on Sunday mornings ❤

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Rising to the challenge

We had a heck of an evening.  One of those disaster after disaster days when you question whether or not you have done anything right as a mother.   

After several minor sibling problems and other behavior issues brewing amongst several of our children.  Our daughter especially presented us with quite the challenge as her preteen attitiude took rude and disrespectful to an entirely new level.  There have been moments of this attitude here and there but this evening her attitude exploded and crossed many lines.

I will not go into all of the details but reached a point a line was crossed and enough was enough.  It was not quite 6 pm when this situation peaked.  As an immediate consequence her youth activities at church were taken away and she was sent to bed without dinner.  And to bed without being allowed to complete her homework for the evening.  If you know Emily you know that not being allowed to do her homework is devastating.  

All this being done with discussion and further consequences to be given tomorrow.  These are the moments when parenting is at its hardest and most challenging.  Respond don’t react.  Don’t overreact.  I am human, I struggle in the heat of the moment with this concept, but today this situation I kept it together.  Calm face, no raised voices. Success, no yelling or arguing she put herself to bed.  Deep breath and I have time to collect my thoughts and prepare to sit down and discuss this with her tomorrow.  

Several hours later after I chopped up some fresh veggies for salad I slipped into Emily’s room to slip the carrot peels and lettuce heads to her bunnies.  I startled her out of her sleep as I was slipping back out of the room.  Half asleep, eyes closed and she says quietly to me “Mom I love you”.  That’s it, drifts back off to sleep.  

No pleading for getting up out of bed, no justifying her behavior, no apologizing, begging, arguing, just a sweet simple ‘mom I love you’.  

This is the first thought she had when she woke up.  Not angry with me for holding her accountable.  Not trying to get out of consequences.  Just that she loves me.  Oh despite her many flaws I love this girl’s heart.  This sweet heart melting moment does not change her consequences the following day.  She is still held accountable for her words, actions and behaviors.  


But as I lay drifting off to sleep I wonder what if that’s how I responded to God.  When I am dealing with the consequences of my own sin, facing the mess I have created trying to do things in my own strength and not turning to God.  Instead of rationalizing, justifying, complaining and worrying about the discussions of tomorrow.   To just stop and rest and tell the Lord I love Him.  Laying in bed after a day of trials and storms and just say “God I love You.”  How peaceful, simple.  

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”  ‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:16‬ ‭


Thank you sweet friend

This week a much needed reminder appeared on my desk the other morning.  It has been a challenging few months and weeks and days.  Taking things day by day, moment by moment.  I came into work and this beautiful figureine was sitting there waiting for me.

It really took my breath away.  And then I picked it up and read the inscription.





‘Help me heal

And use my gifts

As you command

With gentle hands’


     What a treasure this gift this is.

     This statute on this day 

     at this moment 

     was God’s perfect timing.  

I walked into work with the weight of the world, all of the trials our family is facing in this season of busyness and then the night before we had received news of a loved one who had passed away.  This morning  I was struggling and walked in to work this morning see this statue.  

During a time when I would be sitting down and diving into another busy day without a second thought I stopped as this quiet reminder caused me to pause and start my day in silent prayer.

“Hear my prayer, LORD; listen to my cry for mercy.”  ‭Psalm‬ ‭86:6‬ 

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”  Colossians‬ ‭4:2‬ ‭

What a sweet and precious reminder to me that I need to be carrying the presence of Jesus and not the weight of our trials and circumstances.  

I can rest knowing that God is in control of this crazy stressful fallen world.  I need to continually place my trust and faith in Him, He will not leave me or forsake me.  Even in the most challenging of our trials when I am blinded by my own emotions and sin He is there, steady and strong.  

In all things I need to be going first to the Lord in prayer, even in my work and caring for my patients.  Not trying to take control and carry all this on my own but I need to stay in continual prayer.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians‬ ‭4:6‬ ‭

On my desk is where this statue will remain to remind me day after day.  From the bottom of my heart thank you sweet friend for your thoughtful gift.

Wholehearted Desire ❤️

Like splashing cold water on my face or waking up to an obscenely loud alarm clock, or maybe even being submerged into a dunk tank.  That is how I feel right now.  Eyes and heart wide open, an overwhelming sense of spiritual humility.  Wake up! Alarms are sounding it is time to wake up and RISE!  

 

The condition of the mind or living with  the feeling of being ‘satisfied’ or ‘gratified’ leads to a condition of ‘forgetting God’.  So easily we can fall into the routine of our day to day  and allow the busyness of life take over.  

Going through the motions, going to church, reading your bible even praying, but then you are not actively pursuing God with your whole heart, then that is all it is; going through the motions.

  

 

While I can report that I have successfully read the entire bible it was cover to cover; unfortunately I admit this was more for the satisfaction of being able to say I read it rather than truly learning God’s word.  I certainly feel like I was not focused in my reading process at that moment in time; it was more of going through the motions and not so much learning and loving God’s word.

For the last year I have been following a chronological reading plan to read through the Bible in a year, I’m not sure I have even made it halfway yet.  While I have not been disciplined enough to keep up with this daily but I am taking my time and not rushing through it.   I will read the outlined verses and go to the study bible for additional information.  I am taking time to review information for each chapter that I come to in an effort to deepen my understanding.  I will then later listen to them on my audio bible to follow up and reinforce what have already I read.

This week my scripture reading has led me through part of 1Chronicles and Psalm 119. This week I find myself paused and rereading parts of Psalm 119 and then reading it again.



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord. Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart—”. Psalm‬ ‭119:1-2‬ ‭

Those who walk according to His law and seek Him with all their heart are not blessed because they will have an easy and luxurious life with worldly desires fulfilled.  In fact quite the opposite, they will likely have many trials and attacks from the enemy as the seek the Lord and follow His ways.  Those who follow His laws and seek Him with their whole heart will be blessed in their relationship with Him, with joy in His love and salvation despite their circumstances and trials.

 

Some of the important reminders that I am taking away from this weeks scripture reading and study is this….

I must know God, everyday and night, grow in my relationship with Him, no ‘just going through the motions.’

Obedience- must be obedient to God’s law because I love Him and want to please Him, not because it ‘I have to’ or it is what is expected.  —–>Psalm 119:7-9 I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws.

Memory- I need to continue to actively commit His word and truth to memory so that I can always recall His works.  I am doing this but I could be putting more energy and effort and approaching this ‘wholeheartedly’.  Meditate and study His word, EVERY DAY with true desire. —–>Psalm 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

Distinguish ALL BLESSINGS as flowing from God’s grace.  There are so many of His gifts and blessings we take for granted everyday.  Continue ‘counting my wins’ each day and be more intentional in giving that glory for God, thankful to Him for all things. —–>Psalm 119:18 Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.

Trust God, walk in His ways not my own, surrender, less of me more of Him. —–>Psalm 119:37 Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.

Each day choose GOD, choose to love Him, to learn and follow His laws, find my delight in Him and not the circumstances of my moments. —–>Psalm 119:44 I will always obey your law, for ever and ever.

Be confident in waiting for God, his timing, He is in control, do not fear for the evil of man for God is faithful, His mercy endures always, keep my faith in Him, he will not forsake me. —->Psalm 119:50 My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.

I have power over sin with the strength of the Lord, wholeheartedly place my petitions and needs to Him and He will direct my steps.  —–>Psalm 199:133 Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.

His Word and law is essential not optional to truly surrender to Him, the Word of God is WONDERFUL.

—–>Psalm 119:137 Your laws are righteous Lord, and your laws are right.

 

Victory in Christ, I have victory in Christ on the good days and the bad days, I will actively seek and serve Him with my ‘whole heart’.  What an awesome reminder the scripture has brought me this week. 

“Where one man reads the Bible a hundred read you and me.”       Dwight L. Moody

 

 

A treasured moment in time.

I am flooded with emotions this week. The last few weeks have certainly been a whirlwind but as I slow down and take in everything that is happening I am overwhelmed with the reality of it all.

Our oldest has turned 14 years old and is graduating 8th grade all in the same week.  Please stop , slow down!  This is too much for this momma’s heart to take in all at once.

Last day of 8th grade😀

 

My letter to you Joshua James on this day, the first day of the rest of your life:

Congratulations my son! You have worked so hard and come so far in your young life already.  I am very proud of everything you have already accomplished and am excited to see what God has planned for you.  You have such a drive and passion that is inspiring to watch you.  Your determination is incredible.  I pray that this continues as you enter high school, this will take you far.

  • When you feel like you are failing and struggling, look to the Lord, He will be with and give you strength and courage.
  • When you achieve goals and great accomplishments, look to the Lord and thank Him.
  • When you feel lost and do not know where you are, look to the Lord, he will guide and direct you.
  • When peer pressure attacks and the world around you is pulling, stand strong and look to the Lord, He will never leave you or forsake you.
  • When you have made a mistake or have a regret, confess to the Lord, He will forgive and He loves you.

You have such a good heart, full of love and compassion. Your faith will be tested over the coming years, the sin of the world all around us is going to pull and call you.  You will be faced with many hard decisions, many challenges in the upcoming season of your life.  You are human and you are young, you will make mistakes along the way.  I pray that when you do it is a learning experience for you and with every mistake you grow closer to the Lord.  Deep down you have such a passion for Jesus and sharing His love with those around you, remember ‘Romans 1:16, I am not ashamed’.  If you remain faithful to the Lord you will be successful in anything you set out to do.

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” ‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭4:12‬ ‭

I pray as you continue to grow you will use the gifts and talents God has given you.

“Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”                  ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭19:20-21‬

I have been praying for you and I will continue praying for you. I will always be here for you cheering you on.

Joshua always ‘Remember who you are.’

  • You are faithful
  • You are intelligent
  • You are courageous
  • You have a servant’s heart
  • You are determined
  • You are strong
  • You are a beloved warrior of Christ
  • You are adventurous
  • You are compassionate
  • You are generous

You are my first born, you made me a mother. My love for you goes to depths that words cannot adequately describe.  I cherish every moment of your life and I am truly BLESSED to have the awesome privilege of being your mother.  I have loved you unconditionally from the moment I knew you were on your way and I will love you until my last breath.

 

April 29,2017 Nashville TN

Successfully ran his 1st half marathon age 13!!!

1st day of Kindergarten

Passion for soccer since age 3

This smile! 😀😀😀

5th grade chorus

JV cross country during 8th grade

Fall 2016

The old is GONE and the new is HERE!

 2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone the new is here!

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Goodbye 2014 and hello 2015! I cannot believe another year has gone and come. 2014 was such an awesome year for me and my family so it is sad to see it come to an end, but we have so many things to look forward to in 2015. I love the promise of all the bright new beginnings that come with the start of a fresh year.

Happy New Year to ALL of our family and friends, we wish you all a very happy and very BLESSED 2015!

Here is my prayer to start this new year off…

“Lord Thank You for such an amazing year, so many trials and blessings for me and my family, and everything from You, thank You for all you have provided for us this past year. Your hand, presence and love in our lives is so much more than we could ever ask for, we truly appreciate Your many blessings.

God thank You for the start of a new year. We are forgiven and loved by You Lord, please give us the grace and courage to love and forgive one another as You do to us. As we begin this new year remind us of what is most important, help us to live in the goodness that comes from doing what You want us to do, help us cast aside worry and anxiety over the past and future so that we can live in peace with You one day at a time.

I ask for Your continued blessings, guidance and presence in our lives. I pray that we can be more like You God, to walk closer to You each day in our daily walk, drawing nearer to You in all that we do. I pray that in all we do we keep You in the center, let all of our thoughts, actions and words reflect You and Your will.

Lord with each trial, challenge and blessing this new year brings me and my family, please let us stand strong in You, let us turn to You before anything else, I pray we can have complete trust in You and give You complete surrender over our lives. I pray to not get discouraged over set backs or our own failures and weakness, let us use each moment of weakness bring us closer to You. If we begin to walk out of Your will Father, please help us to see this and guide us back to You.

God I pray that we treat each other with kindness and compassion, as You have forgiven us in Christ I pray that we can be forgiving to each other. It is not about what is deserved, let us always remember that it is not our place to judge and criticize each other but to love each other unconditionally as You love us.

Most of all I pray that family and I can bring You honor and glory in all that we do. Please help Matt and I as we raise our children to be followers of Christ, that they can all be lighthouses shining Your light and love to those around them, that they can learn how to be bold in their faith and share You with their friends openly. I pray for the salvation of our children, for protection over their physical safety, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.  Lord lead us in all we do.

Thank You for the start of another wonderful year.

In Jesus name I pray Amen”

Bottom line —–there is NO excuse

Each and every day that I have to share with my children is a wonderful and precious gift from God. Each day is filled with new opportunity to share with them God’s love and grace. My heart and mind are so full of good intentions to do this……unfortunately good intentions are useless and they are not good enough. My good intentions have done nothing, they are a path to failure and I need to step away from my good intentions hit the floor on my knees and pray to God for the strength and wisdom to replace my intentions with actions. My everyday acts need to be a demonstration to my children and those around me of how to live my life devoted to God.

My heart is feeling very convicted tonight, as my eyes are opening to just how guilty I am of letting my circumstances dictate my life, my mood and attitude. There is NO EXCUSE for this. I have let the day to day circumstances stand in the way of being truly joyful. The worst part of this realization is to see how my shortcomings in this area have been witnessed and learned by my children.

I am and always will be a “work in progress”, I will never be perfect in my daily walk or relationship with Christ. To be perfectly honest I am struggling this evening with feeling discouraged as it realize how poor I have done in being a good example to my children. It’s so easy to look back and reflect on all the failures I have had as a mother. I need to keep my eyes and focus on God, let Him teach me how to be a godly example to my children. What goes into our minds comes out in our actions.

Webster dictionary defines complaining as expressing grief, pain or discontent. To take a step in this direction of being a godly example I am going to make one intentional change in my attitude and words. I am very guilty of complaining, about all kinds of things in different circumstances of each day, I am going to make a very intentional effort to stop complaining. It is so easy to get lost in the habit of complaining. This is not a big or elaborate change or gesture however I feel this would be a huge accomplishment and the benefits will be distinct and noticeable.

Philippians 2:14-17
“Do all things without complaining and disputing that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among who you shine as lights in the world holding fast to the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.”

Psalm 139:23-24
“Search me, O God and know my heart; try me and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

“Heavenly Father,

I pray tonight for you to change me, cleanse my heart and guide me to be a better example of You to my children and all who are around me. I ask for strength and wisdom as I open my heart to You. Please keep showing me how to live my life for You. I am truly amazed by Your great power and humbled by Your sacrifice of Your son for my sins. Lord I love You and I choose to obey You, change my wrong ways of thinking, I pray to be a vessel of hope and light, to live what I believe. I pray to grow spiritually and to have my growth witnessed and learned by my children.

I pray for Your blessing and guidance for Matt and I as we prepare to be married. Please guide and protect our relationship, keep us growing together in our love for You, let us always keep You in the center of our lives. I pray we can be godly parents and teach our children to truly be thankful children of Christ.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”

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