Goodbye January

Finding the magical peaceful moment in my day when I can sit down clear headed in a quiet peaceful environment……yep that’s not happening! I may as well go searching for unicorns and leprechauns! Working full time with seven children at home I’m lucky if I can make it in the bathroom for 5 uninterrupted minutes.

I always seem to have the greatest intentions. Over the years I have made several attempts to follow a personal bible reading plan and scripture studies on my own. Some attempts and plans have been more successful than others along the way. But none the less, life, excuses, the busyness, the to do lists, and the exhaustion take over and the struggle to find that magic peaceful moment seems like a lost cause. In past years and attempts I have found myself discouraged and frustrated.

But not this year!!!

These photos show what my 2019 scripture study is looking like this year, it is not pretty but it is wonderful and I am so thankful to have pushed through all the discouragement and barriers and making my scripture study this year grow so much already! Praise God!

 

 

Scripture study in the chaos of our kitchen….

My office space

Some study time in car with our daughter

Studying in hallway/office/sewing&craft area

 

 

 “that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!” Psalms‬ ‭30:12‬

 

 

I have been following devotional I found online and my scripture study and prayer time is taking a priority over the to do list.

It has not been perfect, there have been a few days along the way when my weary exhausted mom brain just had nothing left but to hit the pillow…. when that happens I just pick up the slack and the next day when I sit down I spend some extra time in my scripture study to catch up.  I am giving myself grace and moving on where I have left off.  It is quite impressive how just adjusting my expectations and planning for failure has helped me to be more successful.

Planning for failure has made this more successful!

I am enjoying my scripture study immensely.

I am learning.

I am growing.

This is the plan I have been following.

https://asymphonyofpraise.com/blog/inscribe-the-word-february-scripture-writing-plan-2

It has verses selected for each day. The verses are written out and studied. I am finding how effective writing them out is for me. I am incorporating tools I have been learning in Sunday school as I write out my verses to study scripture. When? Who? What? Why? Where? How?

This year I have taken a new approach and attitude. I’ve stopped waiting for the peace and quiet. I am building moments in my busy day for my study.  So I am putting my intentions and desires into action in between the noise and the chaos. I have prepared my mind and heart to be able to study regardless of what the day is like.  Not having my heart set on the same time, same location and expecting perfect quiet is just not realistic at this season in our lives, I am no longer letting this be a barrier and the results are AWESOME!  So while my study locations are not picture perfect or ideal, they are real life and its working!  I have successfully done every day of January for my scripture study this year!!!

Bring on February 2019!!!

 

 

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Bottom line —–there is NO excuse

Each and every day that I have to share with my children is a wonderful and precious gift from God. Each day is filled with new opportunity to share with them God’s love and grace. My heart and mind are so full of good intentions to do this……unfortunately good intentions are useless and they are not good enough. My good intentions have done nothing, they are a path to failure and I need to step away from my good intentions hit the floor on my knees and pray to God for the strength and wisdom to replace my intentions with actions. My everyday acts need to be a demonstration to my children and those around me of how to live my life devoted to God.

My heart is feeling very convicted tonight, as my eyes are opening to just how guilty I am of letting my circumstances dictate my life, my mood and attitude. There is NO EXCUSE for this. I have let the day to day circumstances stand in the way of being truly joyful. The worst part of this realization is to see how my shortcomings in this area have been witnessed and learned by my children.

I am and always will be a “work in progress”, I will never be perfect in my daily walk or relationship with Christ. To be perfectly honest I am struggling this evening with feeling discouraged as it realize how poor I have done in being a good example to my children. It’s so easy to look back and reflect on all the failures I have had as a mother. I need to keep my eyes and focus on God, let Him teach me how to be a godly example to my children. What goes into our minds comes out in our actions.

Webster dictionary defines complaining as expressing grief, pain or discontent. To take a step in this direction of being a godly example I am going to make one intentional change in my attitude and words. I am very guilty of complaining, about all kinds of things in different circumstances of each day, I am going to make a very intentional effort to stop complaining. It is so easy to get lost in the habit of complaining. This is not a big or elaborate change or gesture however I feel this would be a huge accomplishment and the benefits will be distinct and noticeable.

Philippians 2:14-17
“Do all things without complaining and disputing that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among who you shine as lights in the world holding fast to the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.”

Psalm 139:23-24
“Search me, O God and know my heart; try me and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

“Heavenly Father,

I pray tonight for you to change me, cleanse my heart and guide me to be a better example of You to my children and all who are around me. I ask for strength and wisdom as I open my heart to You. Please keep showing me how to live my life for You. I am truly amazed by Your great power and humbled by Your sacrifice of Your son for my sins. Lord I love You and I choose to obey You, change my wrong ways of thinking, I pray to be a vessel of hope and light, to live what I believe. I pray to grow spiritually and to have my growth witnessed and learned by my children.

I pray for Your blessing and guidance for Matt and I as we prepare to be married. Please guide and protect our relationship, keep us growing together in our love for You, let us always keep You in the center of our lives. I pray we can be godly parents and teach our children to truly be thankful children of Christ.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”

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