Matthew

—>It’s complicated <—

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Being a parent is basically hard, challenging and just out right impossible at times.  Being tasked with the responsibility of being a mom is quite possibly the most difficult task I will be given in this life.  Children unfortunately don’t come with step by step instruction manuals.  There’s parenting advice galore out there especially these days with all of our social media, good advice and bad advice everywhere you turn and filtering this advice that comes at you from all directions.

 

As I sit back and look at how much goes into being a parent and just how much responsibility lays in our role it is quite overwhelming.  Then top off all the basic parenting tasks and add on the extra element of being part of a blended family or single parent role to the mix and you have taken complicated to a whole new level!  Co-parenting is difficult and intense with a cooperative parent that has the same belief and values.  Unfortunately more times than not the co-parent will not being any of those things and makes being a parent 10 times more complicated and challenging.

 

I feel like my husband and I are constantly scrambling and searching for this fine line to walk—-> raising them in this world and teaching them how to not be part of this world.   As much as I long to put my kids in a bubble and protect and shelter them from everything, it is just not possible to shelter them completely and protect them from all the evil and ungodly influences of this world.  And even if it were possible that would place them at a huge disadvantage to be sheltered in that way.  So you need to allow them to be in the world at the same time keeping them from becoming part of the world at the same time you are leading them to know Christ.

 

I was deep in thought pondering this daily dilemma earlier while running away taking out my frustrations on the treadmill at the gym.  This happened to be a family gym day and we had our crew of kids with is at the gym today.  Today is one of those days it was a struggle to get some of them to come to the gym. A little bit of whining about not wanting to go, questioned on why do they have to be dragged to the gym to exercise.  I find this battle quite frustrating and feel like it’s a losing battle most of the time. We have our good days when they come to the gym willingly and put forth good effort and leave the gym smiling after enjoying their workout asking when we are coming back.  But then we have the bad days when it’s struggle, and it is on those bad days that I am so tempted to give up and tell them fine just to stay home while my husband I get in a good uninterrupted work out without distraction.  But giving up is not the answer.

We certainly cannot force them to want to exercise and most definitely cannot force them to enjoy it.    This really leaves us with one option; what we can do is continue to bring them and set the example, lead them and teach them by showing them how it’s done.  We can simply show them that we enjoy exercising and being healthy and let them see the positive results from this. Then praying that the example you set takes hold and one day they can recognize the importance of exercise and maintaining the health of their body.

We can face our children’s salvation in the same manner.  The best we can do is be a good witness, to set the example for them, show them how to live a life for Christ, pray for them to be saved and LET GO, get out of the way and allow God to handle the rest.  Put down on paper it sounds so stinking simple…

Not so simple though, not for me anyway.  I struggle each and everyday and fail in many ways in my witness to our children.  I get so frustrated when I fail, I have really good intentions but am human and frequently fall short.  One of my biggest downfalls is not being joyful in all circumstances, letting my emotions and circumstances of the moment control my words, actions, facial expressions and moods.  I am working at this, slowly giving it over completely to the Lord and I am His work in progress, some days I do better, but each day a step in the right direction.

 

“Come follow me” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people”  At once they left their nets and followed him. —Matthew 4:19-20

  
I don’t want our kids to make the same mistakes I made.  I don’t want them to know God in their mind but not truly know Him in their heart, I don’t want them to be consumed by this fallen world and slipping into the darkness before living in the Lord’s light.  So with each day I will continue working on allowing God to strengthen and mold me into the mother and wife He created me to be and let my witness and example be what our children need to come to know Jesus. And I will fight for them on my knees in PRAYER…..

 

Heavenly Father above, please guide me and give me strength and courage at a mother and a stepmother.  I pray my witness will be true and bold.  I pray that our children will be able to look to me and see You, that I will let Your love shine in all areas of our life, I pray for a joyful heart even on the trying days when I want to be short tempered and rude, please soften my heart and strengthen my spirit to let go and let You take over.  Lord You know my heart and the areas that I truly need to surrender and allow You to take over, please God take all of me and let me be the woman, mother and wife You intended me to be, I pray to have the courage to chose Your way over everything else in this fallen world.  God thank You for the honor, privilege and responsibility of being a mother, our children are truly a blessing directly from You, let me never take this for granted and always treasure being a parent even during the difficult moments, let me praise You and bring You Glory.

In Jesus Name- AMEN

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstance, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus   1Thessalonians 5:16-18 

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Because I SAID SO!

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When I was little and my mom said those dreaded words “because I said so”! I vowed to myself that when I was a parent that I would never use those words with my kids. Yet here I am 12 years into this parenting job and sure enough there have been those times when in the heat of the moment those words I hated so much have come flying out of my mouth to my own kids! As much as I hate that I have done this I now truly realize, understand and appreciate just why my mom used this phrase at times with me and my brothers. There is not always a reason other than I am the parent and you are my child and I know what is best for you. I am not in any way required to provide an explanation or reasoning to my children when I have instructed them, I am their mother and ultimately will determine what is in the best interest of my children whether they like it or not…..so with that being said the only reasonable way to say this is especially in the heat of the moment is none other than, “because I SAID SO!”.  
So as I sit here I cast my eyes up towards God with an open heart and reflect on a few things. Our Heavenly Father has given us very clear instructions on how we are suppose to live our lives and glorify Him. He is so wonderful and has such love for us that He cares so much that He even gives us clear reasons to following His direction.  

– He tells us to love others because He first loved us.
o Romans 12:10, Ephesians 5:1-2, 1 John 4:19

– Forgive each other as He has forgiven us through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus.
o John 3:16, Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:2

– Do not be afraid, be strong God is ALWAYS with you.
o Joshua 1:9, Isaiah 41:10

– Do not worry, pray and give thanks, God will always answer
o Phil 4:6, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

– Trust in God, He is ALWAYS faithful
o John 15:7-8, Romans 8:28

Our lives our covered by God’s promises, love, mercy and grace, He guides us and gives us direction, He is true and loving and forgiving and He is ALWAYS ALWAYS with us. We are so sinful and selfish in all that we do. Look at our fallen world, how bad things have gotten, how everything in our society is so quickly becoming evil and depraved and it is happening SO FAST! Yet He is here with us in all this, how comforting is that,

HE IS HERE WITH US IN ALL THIS! 

All we need to do is sit back and let Him love us and protect us, all we need to do is love Him and obey Him joyfully. It sounds so easily when I put the words down here, yet I fail at this every day, every hour, every minute of every day- shamefully I fail God in some way but He still loves me and will never leave me. That is awesome and humbling. 

I am guilty of not obeying God, I am like my 3 year old kicking and screaming on the floor crying out in disobedience, over and over I throw tantrums and come up with excuses and am led by my own selfish and sinful desires and heart. 

This is why I need Jesus as my savior, I am guilty, He died for my sins and yours, He gave himself freely and with unconditional love so that I can be forgiven. Thank You Lord for sending Your Son.
I will do what I can to grow and to walk closer to God, grow in my relationship with Him, become more obedient to Him not because it is what I am SUPPOSE to do but because I desire to please Him, glorify Him in how I live my life, let myself be an example of His love, mercy and grace a little more with each breath, each moment and each day. Lord please give me strength, courage and wisdom to grow closer to You, mold me into the woman, mother and wife You created me to be. 
God does not need a “because I said so”, He has so given us so much more, He has given us His Son, His word in the Bible to direct us.

“This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. ’ 

Matthew‬ ‭6:9-15‬ ‭NIV‬‬

tired, broken or weary…. Cast your eyes on Him

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Short simple and sweet reminder today…. A couple of my favorite verses that bring me great comfort.  Rejoice in this day the Lord had made!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (‭Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭28-30‬ NIV)

As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. (‭Psalm‬ ‭18‬:‭30‬ NIV)

  

The Chick-fil-A encounter that left me astounded

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Last Wednesday evening my husband and I found ourselves in more of a rush than any other typical Wednesday evening. Now considering our family consists of 2 working parents,5 kids,2 dogs, 2 cats and several small animals most evenings are quite colorful and eventful however this past Wednesday really took the prize. My husband had taken our 8 year old to a late afternoon appointment at his pediatrician that ran longer than expected. I got out the office a little later than anticipated and rushed off to get the oldest 3 from the Boys and Girls Club and then a quick stop at the preschool for our youngest to get home and have about 5 minutes to let the dogs out feed them, get all of the needed supplies for church and soccer that evening and back in the bus. Our oldest needed to be at soccer across town at 6pm and the rest of our family to be at church by 6:15pm for youth activities. We rarely eat out during the week any more however with all the time restrictions it was the only option so I took 4 of the 5 kids to Chick-fil-A for a quick on the go dinner.

I walk in our local Chick-fil-A with 4 super-hungry kids and with the challenge it had been just to get them all there, add in a little bickering,talking back and whining coming from them and I am struggling in a big way. As I have to let at least 3 people order ahead of us to have enough time to get our order ready to place; I stop and think to myself “LORD, what am I doing?!?!? I am NOT EQUIPPED to be handling this!” As I continue to feel completely incapable, I continue down the negative self talk road and being super critical of myself and abilities as a mother….

We get our food sit down and finally eat. Two of the four kids go back to line with their toys in hand to trade in for their treasured ice cream dessert and I glance up from my meal and see them talking to an older man and then look over and point at me. Oh no!!! Complete dread feels me as I see him headed straight towards me, I think to myself they have done something wrong and he is coming over to tell me how bad and out of control my kids are…. I resisted the urge to turn and run and smiled at him as he approached me. NOTHING could prepare me for what was about to happen… He said he just had to come tell me what well mannered and polite children I had and that I must be doing a great job. He said my kids not only allowed him to go ahead of them in line, they used ‘yes sir and no sir’ when speaking to him and had polite conversation with him while they were in line. He was there complimenting my children and myself. I was speechless…

And that was not it….there was more! About 3 minutes later the woman who had been sitting behind us stood up to leave came over to me and she said “God must really want you to know you are doing a good job tonight because I was sitting here and watching how well mannered your kids are thinking to myself I should say something to you about it and then I saw the man come over here and knew I had to say something too.” And right there in our very own local Chick-fil-A in my moments of weakness and self doubt having the audacity to be telling God that I am not equipped He reaches out and provides me with such a humbling and encouraging response.

This sweet and gentle and undeniable message from God was so humbling and eye opening and took me to my knees. I am truly thankful for such a loving and forgiving God, that in my moment of doubt and questioning of God’s plan for me and He reaches out to remind me of His mercy, grace and love.

THANK YOU LORD!!!!!

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works of the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

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Comfort for this challenging fall morning…

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Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. (‭Matthew‬ ‭14‬:‭22-32‬ NIV)

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