Say it isn’t so….

God is doing things in my heart and life right now.  I’m trying to get out of my own way and let Him take over completely.  This is a daily, moment by moment struggle for me to give up control over things and let Him take them from me.

I have been deliberately reading different news articles and have even flipped over to the news radio channel on Sirius XM while driving to work the other day.  I am opening my eyes and ears and exploring what is going on in our nation and world.  I am so tempted to step back and block it all out.  I want to scream and cry at the same time.  There are so many horrific and unimaginable things going on.  My heart is broken and my spirit is sad.  HOW?  WHY?  I just don’t understand, I cannot wrap my brain around just how fallen and sinful and ugly this world and society have become.  There is so much I don’t even know where or how to begin praying for all of this.

Of all the terrible news, events and politics out there right now the one topic that digs deep into my heart is abortion.  The horrific act of cutting a child out of a mothers womb and killing it is sickening and barbaric.  I read about one woman in particular who is in her 50’s, past child bearing years and she has had one pregnancy in her life and she aborted that child.  I feel so much anger and sadness when I read this that I almost cannot even think clearly.  I feel blinded by the emotions this evokes in me.  She had this wonderful gift of life from God and she chose to kill it!?!?!  I think of the small, innocent baby who had his life taken away by the one person meant to protect him and love him unconditionally.  My own sinful instinct is to be angry towards this woman, to hate her and judge her for this awful thing she has done.  But I am wrong and am struggling with how to handle these powerful emotions I experience.

God tells us to forgive and to love one another.

I am so blinded by my own emotion I fail to see her for who she is, she is a beloved child of God just like I am.  She is a sinner as am I.  Jesus died for her sins the same as for mine.  I need to work on my own heart and learn how to reach out to someone like that in love and offer support and forgiveness and not lash out in anger and condemn them.  That is not my job, God is the only one in a position to judge and one day we will all stand before Him. Her sin is no worse than mine.  It is difficult to admit and recognize this.  The human in me wants to place a hierarchy on the sins we commit and point fingers and throw around blame.  I have to acknowledge that there is no difference in the severity, a sin is sin.  I beg His forgiveness and seek His mercy and grace everyday why should do I not turn around and extend that same forgiveness and mercy to others?  I should do this and I don’t ——>I fail God everyday.

“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.  I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:18

Abortion is wrong, it is evil,  it is murder of our most helpless and innocent. Recently during a counter culture study I learned that 1.6 babies are murdered every single SECOND in this country!   Those individuals who perform abortions, promote abortions and have had abortions need our love mercy and forgiveness——>they need our PRAYERS!

If we reach out to them with the love of Christ rather than lashing out in anger then maybe we can bring them to know Christ.

Let me be the light on the hill shining the love of Christ for others.

Now that my eyes are being open to the world around me I can recognize why I have sheltered myself and stayed protected in my bubble. Seeing and knowing the things that are going on in the world around me is painful and I know that I cannot stop it or fix it alone.  I feel I am powerless and helpless to the pain and suffering, feeling this way is difficult.  I admit my initial feeling is defeat but am beginning to feel EMPOWERED.  I see clearly now that I need to start on my knees.  I should not feel powerless when I have a Mighty God standing with me and for me.

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”  ‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:31

“I can do all this through Christ who gives me STRENGTH.”Philippians 4:13

 

All we need to do is cry out to Him!

He is mighty and holy and powerful!


Father, You are so wonderful and mighty.  Thank You for all You have done and continue doing.  Thank You for Your mercy, grace and love.  Thank You for sending Your son.  In my own humanity I cannot change the evil that surrounds us.  I ask and pray for the power of the HOLY SPIRIT to fill me and work through me.  You know the compassion and conviction in my heart, recharge my spirit and body to serve You effectively.  Empower me to help and heal in whatever way You call me to do.  Lord let me bring glory to You in all that I do.  Please grant me strength, courage and wisdom.  I pray for clarity and discernment in when to speak and what words to say.  I pray for this fallen world, please God give me the audacity to shine the light of Your love to those around me.  I pray that this country works effectively and successfully to put an end to abortion, I pray to You, Father I cry out to You for all the pregnant women and unborn babies, let them live!  I pray that if there is something I can do to even save one of these precious lives that I will be led by You in my words and actions without hesitation.  ~In Jesus Name~ AMEN

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popping my B-U-B-B-L-E ——>guilt…confession…truth…

A conversation frequently starts between me and my husband with him asking me “have you heard…?” Which is normally silly and redundant because we both know that there is is 99.9% chance that I have not yet heard whatever it is he is getting ready to ask me about.  For the most part I am clueless to local and national news, politics, and world happenings.  I have placed myself into a safe but very blind bubble.

We live in what is considered a ‘rural area’ and I work in a very rural community.  I listen to the Christian station on satellite radio in the car, this station has no news or commercials.   We do not have cable in our home to watch the news or any local stations.  Basically if someone does not tell me about something in person or it is not on my Facebook newsfeed I don’t hear about it.  For the most part when things do pop up on my Facebook newsfeed that I want to ignore it is quite easy to just scroll by it without paying much attention.

I like my bubble, it is nice and safe in it and I feel protected.  If I don’t have to read about it or hear about it then it is not happening.  I rather prefer not having my heart broken daily over the disturbing news stories our fallen society provides day after day.  It is my way of shielding my eyes, ears, mind and heart from the evil and sadness that unfold day after day.

Well despite my struggle, even with kicking and fighting my bubble has been popped, a few weeks ago it was stuck with a tiny hole that grows each day. I am now seeing the error in my ways…sitting idly by and ignoring all the evil and sin surrounding us and consuming our society makes me just as guilty as participating.

If I sit by and ignore all the bad, wrong and unjust, immoral events and circumstances am I not as guilty as the ones participating and causing?  Burying my head in the sand while our society and world celebrate and glorify sin makes me just as responsible!!!  I am SO GUILTY!
The truth is I cannot handle the feelings that reality and the news invoke in me.

I have been so selfish and ignorant keeping up the protective walls of my bubble.

 

I guess the pin that started poking holes in my bubble is all of the planned parent and abortion news.  This stirs something inside of me, emotions that I can not even begin to describe they are so strong and powerful and quite honestly these emotions terrify me.  This has always been such a difficult and sensitive topic for me to listen to and talk about, I feel so passionately for the lives of our unborn children that it is a challenging topic for me.  I have read quite a few articles and news stories about this but I have not been able to bring myself to watch the videos.  I am absolutely petrified to watch them, I know without a doubt that they will break my heart and bring up such traumatic emotions that I honestly do not know if I can handle it.  Deep down I know I need to be able to get to the point of being able to watch them, I need to embrace these emotions, learn how to control and direct them and use them take action.  I have no idea what, but something I know there has got to be something I can do.  Until God opens that door for me I need to draw near to Him.  I need to be crying out to Him and asking His strength, courage and guidance.

At the very least, I can pray.  This is doing something, I can start to do something by opening my heart, eyes, ears and mind and taking it all to my Heavenly Father.  I need to start taking responsibility in making myself aware of what is going on.  Open my eyes and ears and work on being more informed and knowledgeable.

 

“Then when the time is right He will open a door for me to be able to do something, until then I will pray.”

 

Over the next several weeks I will work at slowly removing the shield of my bubble.  Little by little taking it down and exploring everything that is going on in my state, nation and world.  When I read and listen to these news stories I will open my heart and pray for each situation that I can.  I will lay it all at the feet of Jesus and let Him lead me.  Jesus is the only one with the power to save us all, so I will turn to Him.

“Lord, I come before You with so much in my heart tonight.  Father please forgive me for being so selfish and ignorant that I have ignored and neglected the suffering of Your children all around me.  God I ask you to work in my heart and soften me and make me more self-less and compassionate to all those around me.  Help me to move past my bubble and take on what is happening in our sad and sinful world.  I pray for strength and courage as I open my eyes and become more aware of the fallen state of our world right now.  Please guide me and lead me to be the follower of Christ You have made me to be.  Father I am weak and You are strong, please strengthen me.  I pray the the passion and emotion I feel when I learn more about the news and politics driving our fallen society doesn’t cripple me but move me to take action to help.  I pray to be a better example of Your love and sacrifice.  I pray to be a light in our world of dark and to shine the light of Your Love to all those around me.  Father let me rise up and face this challenge.  I pray I can bring You glory in all I do.  Thank You for blessing me and my family so abundantly.  Thank You for Your love and mercy, thank You for sending Your son to die for our sins, Thank You Father for Your Grace.  In Jesus name Amen.”

 

 

“Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.”  ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭2:11-17‬ ‭NIV‬

 

The Chick-fil-A encounter that left me astounded

Last Wednesday evening my husband and I found ourselves in more of a rush than any other typical Wednesday evening. Now considering our family consists of 2 working parents,5 kids,2 dogs, 2 cats and several small animals most evenings are quite colorful and eventful however this past Wednesday really took the prize. My husband had taken our 8 year old to a late afternoon appointment at his pediatrician that ran longer than expected. I got out the office a little later than anticipated and rushed off to get the oldest 3 from the Boys and Girls Club and then a quick stop at the preschool for our youngest to get home and have about 5 minutes to let the dogs out feed them, get all of the needed supplies for church and soccer that evening and back in the bus. Our oldest needed to be at soccer across town at 6pm and the rest of our family to be at church by 6:15pm for youth activities. We rarely eat out during the week any more however with all the time restrictions it was the only option so I took 4 of the 5 kids to Chick-fil-A for a quick on the go dinner.

I walk in our local Chick-fil-A with 4 super-hungry kids and with the challenge it had been just to get them all there, add in a little bickering,talking back and whining coming from them and I am struggling in a big way. As I have to let at least 3 people order ahead of us to have enough time to get our order ready to place; I stop and think to myself “LORD, what am I doing?!?!? I am NOT EQUIPPED to be handling this!” As I continue to feel completely incapable, I continue down the negative self talk road and being super critical of myself and abilities as a mother….

We get our food sit down and finally eat. Two of the four kids go back to line with their toys in hand to trade in for their treasured ice cream dessert and I glance up from my meal and see them talking to an older man and then look over and point at me. Oh no!!! Complete dread feels me as I see him headed straight towards me, I think to myself they have done something wrong and he is coming over to tell me how bad and out of control my kids are…. I resisted the urge to turn and run and smiled at him as he approached me. NOTHING could prepare me for what was about to happen… He said he just had to come tell me what well mannered and polite children I had and that I must be doing a great job. He said my kids not only allowed him to go ahead of them in line, they used ‘yes sir and no sir’ when speaking to him and had polite conversation with him while they were in line. He was there complimenting my children and myself. I was speechless…

And that was not it….there was more! About 3 minutes later the woman who had been sitting behind us stood up to leave came over to me and she said “God must really want you to know you are doing a good job tonight because I was sitting here and watching how well mannered your kids are thinking to myself I should say something to you about it and then I saw the man come over here and knew I had to say something too.” And right there in our very own local Chick-fil-A in my moments of weakness and self doubt having the audacity to be telling God that I am not equipped He reaches out and provides me with such a humbling and encouraging response.

This sweet and gentle and undeniable message from God was so humbling and eye opening and took me to my knees. I am truly thankful for such a loving and forgiving God, that in my moment of doubt and questioning of God’s plan for me and He reaches out to remind me of His mercy, grace and love.

THANK YOU LORD!!!!!

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works of the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

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The old is GONE and the new is HERE!

 2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone the new is here!

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Goodbye 2014 and hello 2015! I cannot believe another year has gone and come. 2014 was such an awesome year for me and my family so it is sad to see it come to an end, but we have so many things to look forward to in 2015. I love the promise of all the bright new beginnings that come with the start of a fresh year.

Happy New Year to ALL of our family and friends, we wish you all a very happy and very BLESSED 2015!

Here is my prayer to start this new year off…

“Lord Thank You for such an amazing year, so many trials and blessings for me and my family, and everything from You, thank You for all you have provided for us this past year. Your hand, presence and love in our lives is so much more than we could ever ask for, we truly appreciate Your many blessings.

God thank You for the start of a new year. We are forgiven and loved by You Lord, please give us the grace and courage to love and forgive one another as You do to us. As we begin this new year remind us of what is most important, help us to live in the goodness that comes from doing what You want us to do, help us cast aside worry and anxiety over the past and future so that we can live in peace with You one day at a time.

I ask for Your continued blessings, guidance and presence in our lives. I pray that we can be more like You God, to walk closer to You each day in our daily walk, drawing nearer to You in all that we do. I pray that in all we do we keep You in the center, let all of our thoughts, actions and words reflect You and Your will.

Lord with each trial, challenge and blessing this new year brings me and my family, please let us stand strong in You, let us turn to You before anything else, I pray we can have complete trust in You and give You complete surrender over our lives. I pray to not get discouraged over set backs or our own failures and weakness, let us use each moment of weakness bring us closer to You. If we begin to walk out of Your will Father, please help us to see this and guide us back to You.

God I pray that we treat each other with kindness and compassion, as You have forgiven us in Christ I pray that we can be forgiving to each other. It is not about what is deserved, let us always remember that it is not our place to judge and criticize each other but to love each other unconditionally as You love us.

Most of all I pray that family and I can bring You honor and glory in all that we do. Please help Matt and I as we raise our children to be followers of Christ, that they can all be lighthouses shining Your light and love to those around them, that they can learn how to be bold in their faith and share You with their friends openly. I pray for the salvation of our children, for protection over their physical safety, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.  Lord lead us in all we do.

Thank You for the start of another wonderful year.

In Jesus name I pray Amen”