Being a Man

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (2:24).”

In 10 days Ingrid and I are getting married! This has made me start to do a lot of thinking about what it means to be a husband. Not just a husband but a godly man and father. To be a godly husband. The more I ponder this notion the more I feel how awesome a calling this is by God.

It’s not just enough to say “i do”. This calling is one that will set the tone for our entire family. In Charles Stanley’s book “Man of God” he states “it is certain that the husband and father has the greatest influence—even when it’s by default”. That is a pretty hefty statement and quite a challenge.

Well, challenge accepted!!! There are three main relationships that need to be in place and healthy for me to be successful in this endeavor.

First, and most importantly, my relationship with God. Through His law, He showed me that I am a guilty sinner in need of a savior to reconcile me to Him. Through His son, He provided me with that savior and by His great mercy and grace He has forgiven me and wiped the slate clean. Every day I wake up and try to live my day close to Him asking God to make me more like His son Jesus. I fail miserably most days but I am a work in progress and will not be perfect until I am in the presence of my Lord.

Next, my relationship with Ingrid. My soon to be wife is the single most important earthly relationship that I can have. I am to honor her, cherish her, respect her and love her like Christ does “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25 NIV)”. This is a charge by God.

How does Jesus love the church? Selflessly, completely, sacrificially. He loved her enough to die for her. He loves her unconditionally. He loves her more than anything, always forgiving always loving always giving grace and mercy. Always giving His best to her. I am to do the same. I am to give Ingrid my first my best not the leftovers of a long hard day or the Grouchiness of daily circumstances. I am to choose joy, choose love and choose to give her the very best that I have to give.

The third relationship is that with our children. I love our children, all of them. At times I feel very convicted of not setting the example that I want to set with them. Like most, I get agitated, impatient and not in the best of moods. The thought that my actions my words and my attitude can set the tempo for our home leaves me feeling less than capable. However, I trust that with God leading me and Ingrid by my side this shall be a great but rewarding task.

I will not always do everything right or perfect. I will fail at times. I will get discouraged and sometimes my selfish nature will show. But I will be praying and growing daily. I will be asking God that when Ingrid and our kids look at me they see Jesus. This will not happen overnight but I will be trying every day to die to self and love for Christ. I will be trying to show His love grace and mercy to my family daily.

“God,
Lead me and guide me for your name sake that I may bring you glory and honor in this Journey. Give me your heart and your eyes and your spirit to love teach and sacrifice myself to you and to Ingrid and to our children. Help me to put off my selfish ambitions and my wants and desires to fulfill theirs.

Give me wisdom to take on this task and persevere to carry it through. Keep my heart centered on you so that your love shows through me to my family.

Thank you Father for what you have brought together in us and our love. Thank you for such a strong godly and dedicated woman in Ingrid. Thank you for her love. Thank you for our children and help me to be an example of you to them. Help me to be a father like you. Slow to anger and full of love.

Lead me and guide me and keep my heart and mind focused on you Jesus.

In your name I pray
Amen”

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