Still processing…

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Tuesday March 10, 2020 I sat down and updated all of our calendars to include all of our spring sports and extracurricular activities. With a home as full and busy as ours this was a HUGE task, varsity soccer, JV track, advanced/travel soccer for our 8 year old and soccer academy for our 4 year old. Color coded, updated our kitchen calendar, online calendar and my personal planner calendar, it was a FULL schedule! By the end of the following week everything was cancelled, postponed and everything was unknown. It was the week our calendar cleared. Every Sunday I sit down and update our weekly post it calendar so everyone knows what and where they need to be each day… and it’s just all of a sudden blank….a week I will never forget.

We are currently 6 weeks into social distancing on account of or compliments of the Covid-19 virus pandemic. The effects this has had on our world as we know it is hard to even process. Churches forced to close. Playgrounds shut down and taped off, no movie theaters, clothing stores, malls, everything is just at a standstill and waiting. Complete chaos at times to get groceries and cleaning supplies. These past several weeks have been scary, frustrating at times, overwhelming, confusing. We long for and anticipate returning to the days of playing with friends, cheering on the kids as they play their sports, so many things we took for granted. When we are able to go back to all of these things I hope we can value and cherish this on another level. Some days it’s hard not to feel like or fear that nothing will ever really be the same again.

Above everything else that has happened we miss our fellowship with our church family. We have online streaming of our Wednesday bible study and Sunday school and Sunday worship however when you have a house with littles that normally go to the nursery, sitting down to participate in these live events is near impossible and it’s just not the same. Eye contact, hand shakes, hugs, spending time with our fellow believers is devastating to have taken away. It’s like a gaping hole in our week that grows with each week we don’t have time with our church family.

Aside from all of the negatives and downfalls of this social distancing time there have been some positives and praises. So we keep our focus on the positive and find things each day to look forward to and be thankful for.

We keep our hearts and minds on the Lord during this time.

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,”
‭‭James‬ ‭1:2‬ ‭NASB‬‬

We will find comfort knowing the God is sovereign and ultimately in control.

“For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.”
‭‭Colossians‬ ‭1:16-17‬ ‭NASB‬‬

We will remain strong and grow in our faith in the Lord.

“For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “B UT THE RIGHTEOUS man SHALL LIVE BY FAITH.””
‭‭Romans‬ ‭1:17‬ ‭NASB‬‬

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Newness- bring on 2020

Happy New Year!

Another year has come and gone.

Closed out a decade of my life and barreling straight into the new one.

So far time is already flying, the month is almost gone.

It’s overwhelming and quite amazing to look back on years past and all the trials and events of my past. When I take to reflect all that I endured I can see where the hand of God was with me and guiding me to be right where I am today and I AM SO thankful it brings me to tears when I try and take it all in.

As we start this year, this next decade I am in awe of God and His perfect will. I look forward to the continued transformation of my heart and how He will work in our family and home. I’m excited for the adventures God will bring us this year, I have a special feeling this year is going to be some kind of exciting!

I look back briefly on my past years and am thankful for God changing my heart and bringing me to this moment in my life. I look forward and am so excited to see how He will continue to work in me and grow me to be more Christlike. I have SO FAR to go but just knowing I am HIS work in progress, and that He is in control is so incredible.

“Therefore I glory in Christ Jesus in my service to God.” Romans‬ ‭15:17‬ ‭

“filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians‬ ‭1:11‬ ‭

This week.

Each Sunday evening after all the housework is done, meals planned and prepped, little ones in bed that’s when I I sit down and plan out our week.

This week as I take on this task I am flooded with emotions, thinking about everything that is happening this week.

There is only one way we will survive this week…. by the power of prayer and finding our strength, courage and peace in the Lord. The thought of having to face this week by my own strength is at the very least devastating.

Here are some of the verses I have studied this evening as I prepare my heart and mind for the week ahead.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” ‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5:16-18‬ ‭

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” James‬ ‭1:12‬ ‭

“For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.” Psalms‬ ‭33:21‬ ‭

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalms‬ ‭56:3‬ ‭

“I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”” Psalms‬ ‭91:2‬ ‭

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”” Joshua‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭

So whatever this week holds, however everything goes I can trust that God is in absolute control. All of this is in His power and will ultimately be for His glory. While we cannot and do not understand the ‘why’ of our trials right now we can find comfort and peace knowing the God is in control. His mighty and sovereign reign.

So this week when the enemy attacks me; fear and worry starts creeping in, I will look to the Lord, use these verses I wrote on notecards to keep with me so I can read them over and over. I will strive to be diligent and constant in prayer. No matter what the outcome of this week, we must remember to rejoice always!

Memories

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What once was but not longer is.

Each day I check into Facebook and pop over to my memories for that particular day. I love these sweet reminders, the sweet smiles and happy moments with my husband and our little ones and these sweet moments in time! Oh I cherish these treasures! There are days I will post something just so I will have it pop up into my memories one day!

However there are some days as I get to the bottom of my memories from many years ago and my first instinct is to cringe. Memories I wish could be unremembered. Time in my life before my heart was transformed into a follower of Christ.

Listening to a John MacArthur sermon recently I wrote down these things that stuck out to me…

Purging of the heart

Manifest in a transformed life

Salvation is marked by changed life

I can see that what I need to do is change my initial thoughts when I see these old memories to one of thankfulness rather than wishing they could be erased. I can utilize these memories to see the changes in my life and how my heart has been purging over the years and seeing my transformation. How awesome is that!

Even memories from just a few years ago after I had truly been saved I can still see where I have grown in my walk with the Lord and how he continues to change my heart and my life.

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:15‬

I look forward to seeing this transformation continue as each day, week, month and year I continue to grow with my walk with Christ. I know I have so so far to go and I am excited to see what plans God has in our family’s lives.

So I will continue to check out my Facebook memories each day and use them to see the ongoing transformation of my changes life and the purging of my heart!

Thankfully ever after

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It has not been easy… but nothing in life that’s valuable and precious is easy, our family has endured trials and challenges along the way, facing some of the biggest ones just this past year.

It has been the most incredible and amazing five years I could have ever dreamed or hoped for.

Five years ago we dove into this marriage and family as prepared as we could be. We dated for 11 months and during that time we read book after book about blending Christian families. Read about remarrying after divorce. We tried to be as prepared for anything that we would face as we combined two homes into one.

We did the real life Brady bunch thing. Actually I do believe I recall my father saying he felt like he was watching a TV show when he was here visiting us and a live spectator to the chaos of our daily life!

Looking back not nothing could have really prepared us for the reality of it all. Even though we didn’t know what we were doing we had our trust in the Lord and He was with us each step of the way. Our strength is of the Lord.

Along the way we have learned and grown so much!

We started with five kids, a brother in law, two dogs and two cats.—-> we now have seven kids a mother in law and brother in law living with us. We have three cats, two dogs(almost3), a lizard and a bunny. In the mix of our children, four are now teenagers! Y’all we have four teens in one home!

Oh what an adventure these last five years have been. Looking back and reflecting on all we have done been through and experienced it is so amazing to see how we have grown.

In our love, in our family and most importantly in our spiritual walk with the Lord. We have a long way to go but we have come a long way too.

I am so thankful God has blessed us with this family, even on the hard days.

The next five years of adventure begins. God has big plans and will be with us as we take on the next chapter of our lives. Most of all I am excited to see us continue to glorify God and grow in our relationship with Christ.

‘Be devoted to one another in love, honor one another above yourselves’ Romans 12:10

Mercies new everyday

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So in this season that my husband and I find ourselves in I am so incredibly thankful for God’s mercies to be new everyday.  We are in a season of difficult assignments, many trials and challenges.

‘The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end’ Lamentations 3:22

Now while I have not been walking through these trials as Christlike as I could or should there have been moments when I have handled things much better than I would of in the past which is an indicator of how my heart and mind have been transforming with my spiritual growth.

‘The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.’ Psalm 145:9

Oh PRAISE GOD I am not the person I once was!  My heart is so thankful that God saved me from myself and even though I have had moments of weakness, I can repent and turn from those sins and have His mercy everyday!

‘I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy.’ Psalms 116:1

I am so thankful to have peace and know that God is sovereign in all this, that through these difficult assignments we find ourselves in God will be glorified in it all.

‘Have mercy on me O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.’ Psalms 51:1

I am confident and can know that I am loved, a child of God, daughter of a King, who loves me so much He sent His only son to take the punishment for my sins.

‘But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us.’ Ephesians 2:4

Mercy is defined as a compassion or forbearance (refraining from the enforcement of something) shown especially to an offender, a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion.  Basically not getting what it is you deserve.

I am so thankful to the Lord for His divine compassion in my life, that the Holy Spirit is with me to guide me and convict me and has opened my eyes.

‘Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart.’ 2Corinthians 4:1

 

So during this season, where there are some days I need to take each hour as it comes to survive the day I can have comfort and peace in God’s mercies being new everyday.

This is not a test…..or is it?

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This year 2019 has certainly come in like whirl wind as our family and home endured trials and challenges from about every direction possible. With everything we are facing time is just flying by…And just like that March is almost over….

One of verses I have been studying for this month has been James 1:3.

testing= challenging, requiring considerable effort

Steadfastness=form in brief, adherence, not subject to change, constant

So I can have comfort and peace in knowing that all of these trials we are being challenged and tested by are perfecting me and will help me to be firm and constant in my faith.

So in our whirl wind of tests, trials and challenges that 2019 is bringing to us we will count it all joy.

Staying strong in our faith, staying in God’s word, fervent in prayer.  Blessed in our trials as we are perfected into steadfastness in our faith.

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭4:7-12‬ ‭

Goodbye January

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Finding the magical peaceful moment in my day when I can sit down clear headed in a quiet peaceful environment……yep that’s not happening! I may as well go searching for unicorns and leprechauns! Working full time with seven children at home I’m lucky if I can make it in the bathroom for 5 uninterrupted minutes.

I always seem to have the greatest intentions. Over the years I have made several attempts to follow a personal bible reading plan and scripture studies on my own. Some attempts and plans have been more successful than others along the way. But none the less, life, excuses, the busyness, the to do lists, and the exhaustion take over and the struggle to find that magic peaceful moment seems like a lost cause. In past years and attempts I have found myself discouraged and frustrated.

But not this year!!!

These photos show what my 2019 scripture study is looking like this year, it is not pretty but it is wonderful and I am so thankful to have pushed through all the discouragement and barriers and making my scripture study this year grow so much already! Praise God!

 

 

Scripture study in the chaos of our kitchen….

My office space

Some study time in car with our daughter

Studying in hallway/office/sewing&craft area

 

 

 “that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!” Psalms‬ ‭30:12‬

 

 

I have been following devotional I found online and my scripture study and prayer time is taking a priority over the to do list.

It has not been perfect, there have been a few days along the way when my weary exhausted mom brain just had nothing left but to hit the pillow…. when that happens I just pick up the slack and the next day when I sit down I spend some extra time in my scripture study to catch up.  I am giving myself grace and moving on where I have left off.  It is quite impressive how just adjusting my expectations and planning for failure has helped me to be more successful.

Planning for failure has made this more successful!

I am enjoying my scripture study immensely.

I am learning.

I am growing.

This is the plan I have been following.

https://asymphonyofpraise.com/blog/inscribe-the-word-february-scripture-writing-plan-2

It has verses selected for each day. The verses are written out and studied. I am finding how effective writing them out is for me. I am incorporating tools I have been learning in Sunday school as I write out my verses to study scripture. When? Who? What? Why? Where? How?

This year I have taken a new approach and attitude. I’ve stopped waiting for the peace and quiet. I am building moments in my busy day for my study.  So I am putting my intentions and desires into action in between the noise and the chaos. I have prepared my mind and heart to be able to study regardless of what the day is like.  Not having my heart set on the same time, same location and expecting perfect quiet is just not realistic at this season in our lives, I am no longer letting this be a barrier and the results are AWESOME!  So while my study locations are not picture perfect or ideal, they are real life and its working!  I have successfully done every day of January for my scripture study this year!!!

Bring on February 2019!!!

 

 

No resolutions for me….

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I have not decided if I am happy to see 2018 or sad…. bittersweet really. Ready or not 2019 is here. 2018 was challenging and exciting full of blessings and growth, but where did it go? How did it slip by so quickly?

Looking back at everything that has happened this past year is a bit overwhelming to say the least. A lot of changes were made in our home. We welcomed a baby boy in June 💙, my husband changed careers, we officially have 3 teenagers, including a fifteen year old behind the wheel, our family changed churches, championship events, trials big and small, blessings big and small, all on top of our day to day running a home with 7 children and a grandmother!

By God’s strength and grace we have survived it all!

So as I reflect on this past year and wonder what this coming year will bring I will be making no resolutions. I’ve never been big on them anyway.

Here’s what I’m thinking…if I am striving in my walk with the Lord to be closer to Him, to be more Christlike, less of me more of Him, closer to holiness then everything that I would be resolving to do will fall into place. Becoming more Christlike will push me to have more discipline spiritually, mentally and physically. Which means taking better care of myself, which means being healthier overall, and in turns means taking better care of my family and pushing them to be healthier as well.

So as 2019 is rolling right in I am ready. I am excited to see what God has planned for me and my husband and our family. Most of all I am praying that God would be made center of our home and that we continue to walk closer with Him each day we are blessed with. During the blessings and the trials that we would have peace and rejoice in it all.

In all things bring glory to the Lord, that above all else that we do this year our family would be to serve our King!

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans‬ ‭12:12‬ ‭

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Heavy duty stuff

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Lessons from Sunday school the few past couple of weeks keeps jumping through my mind. Over and over and over….the words and lessons speaking to my heart mind and soul. Words that are hard to hear but must be absorbed. Things that need to be heard again. And again. And again…..  Reminders to push and direct me. To keep me going forward on the narrow path and not sliding backwards downhill in spiritual cruise control as so well said by our pastor during the sermon this past weekend!

—> ARE YOU TRUSTING THE LORD THE WAY HE CALLS US TO???        I’m not, I am guilty of anxiety and worry….

—> WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING WHAT IS YOUR FIRST THOUGHT? Is it focused on the Lord?…     mine isn’t its normal grumbling about being tired and not wanting to get up and start another busy day

Beware!

‘Stay dressed for action and keep your lamps burning’ Luke 12:35. ‘And he said to them “take care and be in your guard against all covetousness for ones life does not consist of the abundance of his possessions’. Luke 12:15

I need to remain in prayer and study of God’s word to be able to beware and prepared for the trials of this world.  The days/weeks I am more obedient with this there is a noticeable difference.  There are so many idols in our lives that it is easy to slip into not making this a habit and a priority in my routine.

Have no fear!

“”I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him!” Luke‬ 12:4-5

To truly trust the Lord and live fearlessly in Him, I need to be with Him, I cannot do this if I am not studying His word, meditating and learning His word and alive in my prayer life with Him.

Do not worry, do not be anxious!

“And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭12:22-26‬

Who am I to question God and His plan with my worry and anxious heart???  But yet I do.  This is truly my greatest struggle and something I am actively working towards.  In the heat of the moment when fear hits the ceiling and physically overpowered by anxiety is when it is most challenging, again I need to continue to improve in my bible study and prayers to move closer to the Lord and farther from living with constant anxiety.‭

Be ready!

“”Stay dressed for action and keep your lamps burning, and be like men who are waiting for their master to come home from the wedding feast, so that they may open the door to him at once when he comes and knocks. You also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.”” Luke‬ ‭12:35-36, 40‬

I need to be ready with God’s words constantly in my mind and heart.  I need to be on constant and frequent fellowship with Christ to stay ready, if His word is in my heart and mind then that is what will come out.  If sinful and evil is allowed to be entertained in my mind and heart then that is what will come out.  We must stay in God’s word and know it so intimately that we can distinguish false teaching.    Application of scripture in life may change but the truth of it will remain the same.

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Christ must come first!

“”And I tell you, everyone who acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man also will acknowledge before the angels of God, but the one who denies me before men will be denied before the angels of God. And everyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but the one who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven.” Luke‬ ‭12:8-10‬

I need to rest in the Holy Spirit, putting Christ above all else, first in and above all things in this world and the Holy spirit will be there leading me, convicting me when needed, and preparing me for His return one day.

I am so very thankful for God’s truth, for God’s mercy and grace upon me and my life.  I am so thankful to be in this Sunday school class where I am being challenged, spiritually fed and convicted.  I am so thankful for my salvation in Christ. My heart is so happy to be moving forward in my walk, learning and growing along side sisters and brothers in Christ.  I am so VERY THANKFUL for HEAVY DUTY STUFF to be laid on my mind and heart on Sunday mornings ❤

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